Butch in Progress

[B] Prepare to get your screen/dashboard spammed again. Since the last post on 2 Broke Girls only covered my favorite quotes till christmas it’s time for some more hilarious, tongue-in-cheek puns. And maybe, but only maybe, this will help to bridge the time till february 6th, when the new episode will air.

Max: Girl, the only Grand Tetons, that Chestnut trusts…Are mine.

The already legendary hipster quiz:

Max: Hipster or homeless pop quiz, ready?
Han: Ready.
Max: Hipsters wear?
Han: Skinny jeans.
Max: Homeless wear?
Han: Dirty jeans.
Max: Hipsters listen to?
Han: Radiohead.
Max: Homeless listen to?
Han: The voices in their head.
Max: Hipsters have?
Han: Beard and a blog.
Max: Homeless have?
Han: Beard and so much sadness. I see sadness, there and there.

Caroline: Oh look at that I just pulled down your browser history. Interesting list: kitten plays a keyboard, kitten sneezes and farts and the same time.
Max: Give me that, that’s private
Caroline: kitten folds a t-shirt … oh kitten rings a doorbell. I though you said you weren’t into pets.
Max: I’m not. It’s a kitten ringing a doorbell.

Caroline: It’s the new trend. Mini stores pop up and sell stuff, and then they’re gone.
Max: Trend? Drug dealers have been doing that for years!

Max: I’m sorry I wasn’t listening. I was staring at my new boyfriend over there. I want to make out with it!

Caroline: You want to hug me don’t you?
Max: Yeah
Caroline: But you’re not gonna.
Max: Yes I am. If you unzip my shirt I’m gonna be pissed! Impressed, but pissed.

Customer: I’m so sorry to bother you guys.
Max: No problem sisterhood of the traveling panty shields.

Max: You think Occupy Wallstreet was a big deal? Wait till you see Occupy Tampon

Detective: He lived alone, been dead two weeks
Max: Cats eat his face?
Caroline: Max! Can you not be so dark?
Max: Kittens eat his face?

Caroline: Max come out.
Max: If I came out, it wouldn’t be for you, it would be for that hot dragon tattoo girl.

New neighbor: But why wait, dream is now!